Tonight has been quite a roller coaster. Now, this is my twisted cables of connections in my brain. I don’t even know how this makes sense… My head = Narnia. Here we go:
The other day, I was randomly thinking that people that are close to us or maybe even acquaintances love to tell us “never change”. Pick up your yearbook, and look through the signatures you collected. Many of mine said “never change”. I was reminiscing about that and thinking… I was in high school until May ‘07, and now that its May ‘12 - 5 years later - I am at least a 70 degree far version of who I used to be (thankfully… because I didn’t like my high school self AT ALL). So to those who asked me never to change, my bad. Then that got me thinking… 5 years? That’s BS. Life changes in 1 year, 1 month, 1 week, 1 day… 1 second. And that one split second can be life-altering to the point of shifting something in you and propel you in a whole other direction.
5 years ago… random thoughts this week… Back to tonight. My friends and I went to this sex convention “Exxxotica” in Miami Beach. Not the usual spot to find us, but nonetheless it made for quite an interesting evening. I remember being there and I feel like it was weeks ago, but it was a mere 4 hours ago that we were leaving the place, to come back home… And I thought (yeah, I know… I do that a lot) - what a fail, going home at 10:30pm. Clearly we’re shifting our typical partying ways. Continuing - on the way home, I was talking to my friend about something which triggered this other thought process: I really try to not be a judgmental person. But something that gets under my skin is when someone who used to do something but stopped, now judges others for doing it… I get it, we all change (reference to above paragraph), and if its a positive change - more power to you. But first and foremost, no one is anyone to judge someone, so how dare you judge when you were in that same place at one point?
That conversation got me so heated that I wanted to blog about it… But I was too tired and fell asleep with my computer open. I really wanted to express myself, I don’t know why. Anywho. In the middle of my sleep, my phone rings, its my mom (who as far as I’m concerned is sleeping) telling me that my little brother got into a pretty bad car accident and she has no idea how he and the friend in the car with him were alive and well. Yeah, no comment. I got up, changed and went to the crash scene. Seeing all the lights from the fire truck, ambulance and police cars sent chills down my spine. When you see those lights as you drive on any given day, you think that would never be you or your loved ones. And I drive by and see my little brother talking to the firefighters and… my heart dropped. It is the absolute worst feeling one can have. Don’t get me wrong, I’m infinitely grateful that he and his friend were without a scratch, but still. It just all happened too fast for me to grasp. Wasn’t I laughing my ass off a mere 2, 3 hours ago with my friends looking at whips and bedazzled vibrators? Like seriously? How does a night change so suddenly? Ah. Change. People. 5 years ago. Today. 1 second my little brother loses control of the car, the next his car is shoved in the middle of the road trees. Tonight I wanted to blog about judgmental people with no right to judge, and here I am. Completely mindfucked with life and reaffirming my random thoughts about how life changes, and just like that, I have a new blogging interest sparked.
Anyways. I’m incoherent, post accident shocked and exhausted. And still giggling when I remember the things I was seeing less than 5 hours ago. Time to go. But one more thing: please remember, drive safely.
